I'm Looking For Something

and i dont know when ill find it. i want a job that will help supplement my low-retail working paychecks. something that is self paced-so i want to do it. i want something that will help me to pay off my sky-high credit card debts. i want something that will make me feel like im gaining experience with my english degree that im working towards.

im thinking about joining a website that will let me write for them, and pay me for it. i would consider getting ads and stuff for this page, but i dont think id get many hits. so im looking in other directions. if i want to move in late august then i need some more dinero to help pay for things like rent. i feel like i have a lot on my mind about the future and money and stuff.

i mean i dont really have a plan for the future, its all pretty blank right now. i dont know if ill have to move when i graduate in 2 years, i dont know where P will be, i dont know if well be married by then, if i will have actually moved out, if ill be doing a job i love. if we will be in the bay area still. its all so up in the air. this is the place of most twentysomethings, but im starting to feel the heat. im going to be 23 next month, and thats close to the midpoint of 25. im not being vain, i thought i would be more accomplished by now. i havent traveled, im still in school, im not married.

im trying not to worry, since worrying never gets you anywhere.

the universe will take care of me, it always does.

Stupid Chegg. We Are No Longer Friends!!

i was wrong about Chegg. they weren't different or special. i was under the impression that i would be able to mail my book back on the day of finals. i was   too lazy.

i was under the impression that i my due date for my book was the 14th. it turns out that i was wrong, and my book was due today. 

i thought that i would be able to sell them my old books, not for much, some of them are old, but i would like the shelf space.

i was wrong on all counts.

my friend C was right about Chegg. Amazon would of been a better bet. then i would of already sold my book back, and have gotten the money for it.

on top of everything else, i spent the last half an hour unearthing books from the bottom shelf of my closet, scraping off bookstore labels, and typing in long codes.

the amount ill get back?

that i was thinking to myself 'hey, i can use this money to buy some shoes! i haven't bought shoes in a while!' about?

the grand total?

$6.17

yeah thats all. i get like $7.13 if i use it as Chegg credit, so i might do that since i apparently have late fees now.

so even though its more(ish) next semester im using either the bookstore at school (eek!) or amazon.com.

lesson learned!

Earthquake!

so in the last few days we have had a couple of earthquakes. i have mixed feelings about things like this, because ive never experienced a big, destructive earthquake, well i was 2 when the big 1989 one happened, so i was alive...but 2.

it makes me kinda worry, but worrying wont actually get me anywhere so im trying not to care. its not like that will actually change anything anyways.

i do, however, worry that it will happen while im at work while im responsible for 2-3 other girls, and a, yenno, store. i know some girls wont run from the store screaming, but i think some other ones might. and then i worry that ill have to drive home and it will take me 6 hours instead of the 15 to 20 min it usually takes me.

but whateves, worry will get one nowhere, so im using this as motivation to not let my gas tank get to the point it usually does, running on fumes alone.

My Body And I Dont Get Along

let me start by saying i have insanely sensitive skin. it burns in the sun, is annoyed by cheap metals, is generally unhappy.

that said, one of my piercings is infected. not like 'ohhh, this could use some hydrogen peroxide,' no the 'omg, this is inflamed and oozing and bright red and NOT OK' type of infected. this does not bode well seeing as i want a tattoo. i know, it makes me a cliché, but is that bad? (according to my lovely fiance P it really is.)

will this cause my skin to totally erupt in oozing grossness? erugh, looks like eventually we will find out. just not anytime soon. tattoos are expensive and i make almost minimum wage. =/

in other news lovely trainer B no longer works at the gym, and has been replaced with sadist trainer M. we do not like M. on day 2 of this weeks gym time, he made me do lunges. i can still barely walk. seeing as i spend 8 hours a day on my feet working retail, this is not good. on the plus side, this discouraged me completely from wanting to go to san francisco and brave the possibility of getting rained on whilst at the zoo. i dont want to have to hobble all around the zoo going 'hey...this terrain is uneven...I CANT WALK OVER IT' in the rain.

Hello 2010! Let's Be Friends Okay?

I have decided to make 2010 my year. Not in a New Year’s resolution way (I don't like the idea on New Year’s resolutions, everyone always breaks them anyways) but in a I'm turning my life around, today is the first day of the rest of my life kind of way. So I’m figuring the best place to make a note of this is here in my blog. I mean at this point I am at zero hits so why not?

So I deleted all my other posts, and am starting fresh.

At this point I have no other intentions for this, mostly I want to be writing two or three times a week. Since this is something that I actually want to be doing as yenno, a grown up.

But here is a list of some of the things that I want to do this year.

-Keep paying off my credit cards. And then not max them back out.

-Lose enough weight to feel healthy and not self conscious in a bikini while on the big trip I'm taking with the fiancé in June.

-Actually learn more crochet than just like the 2 stitches that I know how to do.

-Stop spending money on things I don’t need. Especially when they aren’t on sale.

-Figure out something that I can actually do with my hair. Other than down and straight or ponytail.

-Take the year of French that I'm going to be take seriously. I think it would be good to learn a second language, even if I am being forced to do it.

-Appreciate the fiancé. He loves me.

-Worry less, smile more.

-Not letting the little things in, and being less tense, not always feeling like I need to be defensive all the time.

-Accessorize.

So overall I can feel that 2010 will be a good year for me. Because I’m not going to let everything bring me down and I’m not going to let the bad things in. I’m pretty excited, and you should be too.