I'm Looking For Something

and i dont know when ill find it. i want a job that will help supplement my low-retail working paychecks. something that is self paced-so i want to do it. i want something that will help me to pay off my sky-high credit card debts. i want something that will make me feel like im gaining experience with my english degree that im working towards.

im thinking about joining a website that will let me write for them, and pay me for it. i would consider getting ads and stuff for this page, but i dont think id get many hits. so im looking in other directions. if i want to move in late august then i need some more dinero to help pay for things like rent. i feel like i have a lot on my mind about the future and money and stuff.

i mean i dont really have a plan for the future, its all pretty blank right now. i dont know if ill have to move when i graduate in 2 years, i dont know where P will be, i dont know if well be married by then, if i will have actually moved out, if ill be doing a job i love. if we will be in the bay area still. its all so up in the air. this is the place of most twentysomethings, but im starting to feel the heat. im going to be 23 next month, and thats close to the midpoint of 25. im not being vain, i thought i would be more accomplished by now. i havent traveled, im still in school, im not married.

im trying not to worry, since worrying never gets you anywhere.

the universe will take care of me, it always does.